Jaune's Hangover
by 4rgeMonger
Summary: A one shot that originated from a really weird role play that Blake and I did one time when we were having trouble updating. M because it's anime, and dirty. Jaune wakes up with a nasty hangover.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everybody, this is 4rgemonger bringing you an ecchi fic. Jaune's hangover actually started with a chat between Blake and I, so blame him for some of the dirtiness. Though a lot of it is mine. This is currently a one shot.

Jaune awoke suddenly, sitting up in his bed. Blinking to clear his vision, a splitting pain shot through his head, and he placed an arm under himself to stay up. He groaned and began to feel dizzy, and that's when he fell. He hit the ground with a loud thump, successfully waking Ren.

"Jaune? When did you come in? I was awake until two and you still weren't back yet," He said sleepily.

" Keep it down, will you? I can't really remember much of last night. I must have had something to drink, given the headache I've got." Ren chuckled and slid back under his sheets, nodding off as quickly as he'd woken up. Jaune knew he wouldn't be returning to sleep soon, so he stood up shakily and strode off to the showers. As soon as the warm water hit him, his eyes began to grow heavy and he felt himself begin to doze.

Jaune awoke and looked up, to find that he was still in the shower. He sighed and turned off the running water, and opened the stall to trip over the towel he'd laid out. Hitting the ground hard for the second time that day, Jaune thought nothing of it. He dried and dressed quickly, and stumbled back to his room. The trek to team juniper's room was a long and treacherous one, as stairs and ramps were now keen on Jaune's death. Oh how he hated hangovers. And the worst part was, he couldn't even remember last night. But then something mysterious happened, as he was in the hall that lead to his dorm he heard a light giggle. He turned his head quizzically and his eyes landed on Yang and Weiss, staring at him in an odd way he swore he'd seen somewhere but he couldn't place it.

"Good morning Jaune," she said with a cute smile.

"Good morning Yang," Jaune responded uneasily, sensing that something was wrong.

"You were hilarious last night, and amazing," Weiss said sultrily, and Jaune became very scared. She stalked forward and leaned on him, purring quite happily. And Jaune though Blake was the cat. He couldn't argue he wasn't enjoying it, but he was uncomfortable to say the least. Especially considering he didn't even know why she was being so obviously affectionate. Suddenly, Jaune felt his right arm get pushed between two objects that could belong to none other than Yang, he didn't need to say explicitly what they were.

"Um Yang?" Jaune asked slowly, taking a huge gulp as Weiss began to rub her face against his before suddenly stepping away.

"C'mon Jaune, you know you want it…" she whispered. Jaune had a fitful spasm and he sprinted off as fast as he could.

"What in the actual f…" he almost finished his vulgar sentence when he was tackled to the floor.

"Why did you try to run from Yang, Jaune?" a short scythe warrior asked. Jaune blushed and tried to push her off him but found his hand had pushed into something soft. His blush grew worse as he quickly rolled out of the pin and stood up, looking down the hall to see two white and yellow figures sprinting towards him. "Are you… Do you like me?" Ruby asked, her eyes wide.

"Bye Ruby got to go," Jaune said quickly as he ran away from the three, hoping Blake or Pyrrha wouldn't come from around a random corner to attack him. He spotted a corner and turned, and as soon as he noticed a table he ducked under it, only to find Sun.

"Sun?" he asked quietly. Then Sun put a finger over his mouth.

"Don't let Blake know we're here!" he shushed, and then they heard the footsteps. Sun began to sweat profusely, and he began to twitch violently.

"SUN WUKONG WHERE ARE YOU?!" a very enraged sounding Blake yelled. Jaune raised and eyebrow and decided to save the faunus from this perilous situation. He stood up and smiled at Blake.

"He went that way," Jaune said pointing down the corridor. Blake nodded and took off in that direction, but right as he was feeling triumphant he was finally caught. Yang turned Jaune to face her and she shaved his face into her bosom, hugging him tightly.

"I know you tried to run Jaune, but that's 'cause you were afraid of admitting your feelings right?" she questioned. Jaune clasped a hand on each of her shoulders, and managed to pull himself up for air. Yang pulled his face towards hers in an attempt to kiss him, but she was knocked aside by Sun who grabbed Jaune bridal style and ran off with him, using his supreme faunus skills set to out maneuver the girls.

"Sun put me down!" Jaune screamed in protest, but only after he figured they were out of a generous earshot distance. Sun looked down at him and nodded, dropping him. "Ow, I didn't mean like that…" Jaune mumbled. Then Jaune looked up and around, his eyes darting over everything so he could gauge where he was, but truth be told he didn't know where. "Where are we Sun?" Jaune asked, but the monkey boy was no where to be found.

"Hello there my brave warrior," said a familiar red-head who was walking out from behind a tree.

"Oh no, not you too Pyrrha," Jaune groaned. Pyrrha took several slow steps forward and planted a chaste kiss on Jaune's lips.

"Don't worry Jaune, I wasn't at the bar last night so I have no idea why they're all so infatuated with you or what you did, but it had to be hilarious," she chuckled. Jaune sighed, as he clasped her hand, and she hoisted him up.

"So you're not going to try to rape me?" Jaune asked innocently. Pyrrha gave him a devilish smile.

"I never said that…"

Jaune awoke with a start and looked down to groan. Great, extra laundry.

A/N: and done, it was all just a dream! Or was it? Feedback will decide!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- To Paradise on Their Whats?

A/N: Well I was overwhelmed with feedback, and as such it shall become a two shot!

Jaune threw his wet boxers into the hamper and locked the bathroom door, sliding on a new pair of the same variety hoping no one would notice. But his dream perplexed him, and what was worse, he had the world's worst headache. Was what happened yesterday real or fake? Well, if it was real that had to have meant Pyrrha had raped him, but from what he could tell she was sleeping contentedly just the way she'd been…

"Damn it!" Jaune whispered angrily. He couldn't remember one blasted thing about last night, so he didn't know if that's how Pyrrha was. So he had no grounds to disprove his dream. He swore again and slammed his fist to the wall, and sighed audibly. He was being way too paranoid, but then again, his virginity was on the line, and he wasn't ready to give it up this soon. But he couldn't argue, if what had happened in his dream was like real life, oh man. He shivered and mentally slapped himself. This was his teammate and good friend he was thinking these things about. But suddenly, several other individuals jumped into his mind. Yang, Weiss, and Blake. Not to say that Nora and Ruby weren't attractive, but they were more kawaii than hot. Jaune slowly opened the door to his dorm, and crept towards his shelf. He was nearly there, but he heard a soft moan come from the sleeping Pyrrha and 'he' immediately jumped up. Jaune's headache spiked as well, causing him to fall down with a resounding thump.

"Jaune?" he heard a female voice groan quietly, and he couldn't determine whether it was Nora or Pyrrha. He prayed it was Nora, but when he turned to face his roommate, it was the amazoness. "She took an eyeful of him in his boxers, and he saw her wet her lips lightly. "Hey, you're pretty nicely cut," she said eyeing his muscles that were more often than not invisible underneath his hoodie and or onesies. She quite enjoyed the full sight of him, and dare say she wished his boxers weren't on either.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up this early," Jaune whispered, but Pyrrha waved it off.

"Oh it isn't a problem Jaune, in fact, I'm pleased that you awoke me when you did. I was having a crazy dream about…" she trailed off, and a light blush colored her cheeks a shade of red not unlike her hair. Jaune stood up and walked himself to the drawer, pulling out his uniform and throwing it on quickly. He caught a glimpse of Pyrrha walking into the bathroom and locking the door, and immediately regretted it. She hadn't been wearing anything under her sheets except for a bra and panties. He rushed out of the room and fell face first into Yang, but specifically a region of her bosom.

"Oh wow Jaune, picking up from where we left off are we?" Yang asked as she held him inches from her cleavage, suspended. Jaune blushed and stood up straight.

"No, I'm sorry I didn't… Wait? Last night?" Jaune asked in a quivering voice. Yang stepped into his bubble and traced his abs from under his blazer.

"Yup, you were amazing," she giggled. Jaune nearly fainted, but instead took a huge step back. He saw behind Yang Weiss was giggling hysterically. That was his sign to let out the tension and release a breath.

"Phew, you had me scared there Yang, for a moment I thought we actually did it," he laughed. Yang laughed with him, but tried to hide the blush on her face.

"No, we just danced at the club, but if you want to," she said slowly. Jaune was glad that his pants were tight enough to hold it down, as he didn't want to give Yang anymore ideas.

"Well I'll see you ladies," Jaune laughed as he walked away down the corridor. He heard Yang whine, but another colder, scarier voice froze him in place.

"Going so soon?" he heard the heiress ask. He turned to greet her but was met with lips on his. He let out a cry of protest but it was muffled.

"Hey Weiss, what are you doing?!" an angered Pyrrha screeched as she just as much flew out of her doorway and pulled them apart.

"Having my turn with him, you guys had him last night," she said indignantly. Once again Jaune thanked his tight pants. "After all, once he'd had the few too many drinks he did announce he'd ride you and Yang all the way to paradise, and judging from the fact that Yang wasn't in the room until about an hour ago and the strange noises from team JNPR's room I assumed he did." Jaune did faint this time. It was too much for the poor boy to take all at once.

Jaune opened his eyes and was not pleased. Glynda was glaring down at him, and she looked very angry.

"Mr. Arc, I'd appreciate it if you'd actually stay awake during my class," she chided, and then walked back to the center. Now Jaune, I'd like you to fight Pyrrha in today's demonstration. He glanced over at her and realised it had all been a daydream. He cursed his brain for giving him such strange dreams, but thanked Monty it had all been surreal. He stood up but realised his balance was a little off. As he walked won to the stage, a nasty pain in his head and he nearly fell. He drew Crocea Mors and smiled at Pyrrha, who smiled back.

"I'll be more gentle than last night," she assured him. WHAT?

A/N: Which reality is real? Will Jaune's balls ever become un-blue? Will his pants ever loosen? Who caught the witcher reference? Only feedback will let me know if you want another chapter. Peace!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N: Really, seven reviews? I am so honored to have actually gotten more than two reviews in one chapter :D.

ally had no idea what was going on. He'd woken up alright, and the only trace of abnormalities was the horrid pain in his head at Oobleck's class. Jaune would've liked to have blamed the teacher's quick talking and eccentrics as the cause, but having no recollection of the previous night made him assume something had happened. Furthermore, none of the girls would look at him, well asides Ruby and Nora but he guess whatever had happened didn't involve them. Jaune digressed. The girls would giggle as he passed by, and whenever he approached them nearly directly they'd blush and run.

"Oh Oum what's happening?" Jaune whispered to himself as he took the headache pills, chasing them down with a glass of water. It was lunch, and he was sitting all alone. The girls were gone entirely (other than the ones mentioned above but they kept a distance) so the only company he had was a silent boy across from him. Jaune took a scoop of the potatoes on his plate and silently chewed them, wondering about what had happened last night. It really was a mystery, he'd woken up sweating, with a bit of a headache, and blue balls. Something had to have happened, and judging by the aching balls it wasn't a topic Jaune and his sheltered life were prepared to confront.

"U-um, J-Jaune?" a short voice stuttered from behind him. Jaune turned and sighed at who it was. Velvet was blushing profusely, and poking her index fingers together in a way Jaune would've found cute on any other day.

"Listen Velvet, everyone's been shunning me today, and I don't know why. Spit it out," he said after a pause of awkwardness. She sighed and sat next to him.

"The girls told me to come get you so they could talk to you," she said quickly. Jaune nodded and stood up.

"Which is where?" he asked. Velvet stood up and gestured for him to follow. She led him through the grounds and to an old hill, with a sprawling maple tree in the center of it. Around it, the whole gang (other than the Ren, Ruby and Nora) sat under its shade. Velvet ran off as soon as the hill was in sight, which gave Jaune the sinking feeling he'd lose something (either a limb or his soul) by the end of the day.

Jaune slowly climbed up the hill, and as soon as he did, the girls all circled him like hungry sharks, closing off any escape.

"Morning Jaune," Pyrrha cooed, tracing her hands down his muscled figure. Jaune tried to back up but she grabbed his tie. "Want to know what happened last night?" she purred into his ears, causing two very different reactions in the upper half and lower half of his body.

"If it's R-rated, no," he stuttered, unsure of his resolve. Pyrrha grinned and backed up, letting Weiss step forward and slap him hard. "What was that for?!" Jaune cried out angrily. Weiss grinned and pulled him into a deep kiss, something he was entirely unprepared for. He felt the urge to kiss back, but his will was just a little more solid than he thought. She pulled away disappointedly after a minute, pouting at him.

"The slap was for running away last night, the kiss was picking up where we left off when I was so rudely interrupted," she scowled, glaring daggers at Yang. Yang simply shrugged and grinned, not caring. Weiss smiled at Jaune before backing up into her spot in the circle.

"Listen, i have no idea what's going on, please just let me go," he sobbed. Blake wrapped Gambol Shroud around his waist and frowned.

"That'd be no fun for us," she said, growling like an angry cat. Jaune shut himself up and looked to Pyrrha, who he figured he could trust.

"Can you release me, and then tell me what happened?" he asked innocently, but Gambol Shroud tightened and he lost his breath. "Oh okay," he gasped. Yang stalked forward and put her hands on his shoulders.

"I'll tell you jaune," she said softly. Jaune sighed with relief and smiled at her. As he was about to thank her, she spoke again.

"But better yet, I can show you," she said with a smirk. Jaune mentally sobbed. He wasn't getting out of this one.

* * *

Jaune awoke suddenly and laughed. Last night's party was wild, and that booze must've been what caused the dream. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around the room. He spotted each of his team mates and smiled a little, thankful that what happened at night in his head didn't happen out here. There was a time and place for thinking those kinds of thoughts, and when Jaune was in control of his thoughts was the inappropriate time. He stood up and dressed himself slowly, heading out to the training field to go wake himself up fully. But what he didn't realise was that from her windowsill, a figure looked out at him crossing the grounds with lust in her eyes.

"I'll make you mine, Arc," she promised herself. She then stood up and pulled the blanket away from the pillow stack on her mattress and draped it over herself. "Yes, I'll have him before the others, and he'll be all mine," she laughed, thinking all sorts of dark and pleasurable thoughts of the blonde warrior. His life was about to get so much more complicated.

A/N: Yay! For now I think I'll end it here, for the same reasons I listed in the D'arc Times latest installment. I'm trying to get into other fandoms, but the ones I'm pushing into require longer and better chapters than even the ones I write for this fandom. So with that said, I think the updates for this will be pushed out a little slower, if I update at all. Enough reviews, favorites and follows will convince me if I should continue making this, and if I do, it'll be a little less trippy than the last few chapters. So bye peeps, leave (more than seven) reviews and I'll see you all later!


	4. The Bar: Part 1

**A/N: **So this is a chapter about the bar, and only that, so none of the fun inception stuff you've all grown accustomed to. So without further ado. Here's what you've all been wanting.

Jaune stepped out of the limo impeccably dressed. His suit was a deep shade of black, brightening his pale skin and blue eyes. Seven beautiful girls followed after him, each wearing their own unique style and holding themselves in a way that their personality allowed. To any onlooker, Jaune would've been a pimp. But he knew he wasn't graced with that. No, it was simply a special occasion that merited celebration. Ren was turning eighteen, and a spot at one of Junior's rival clubs had been booked.

Jaune sighed as he stepped towards the entrance, saddened by his friend's sudden sickness. Ren had fallen ill almost an hour before the limousine arrived, and urged the rest of the party to go along without him. Jaune opened the grandiose glass door and held it open like a chauffeur for each of his friends, each passing through before him. _Oh Monty why does this always happen to me_? Jaune asked himself as he let it swing closed behind him. Yes, everyone had decided to go without Ren besides Nora and Ruby. Nora wouldn't leave her beloved friend behind, and Ruby didn't meet the age requirement for participation in nightlife. Jaune looked up and around at the check-in room, and gaped.

"Quite amazing, isn't it?" Pyrrha asked, standing beside her awestruck leader. Jaune could say the same about her, though he wouldn't dare while she was in proximity. The amazoness was absolutely stunning in her formal garb, even more so than her battle gear. She wore a deep crimson bodice tightly hugging her flawless figure, while her skirt went far down to ankle. It split up the side to give her better mobility, as she was always was paranoid of attackers, especially after Yang's lengthy description of the brawl at Junior's. Her hair went down straight, but was split into three locks about halfway down. She caught her fearless staring, and blushed slightly, not very dissapointed.

"Both of them are," Jaune mumbled, before he realised his mistake. He looked up quickly, hoping she hadn't heard that. Pyrrha had in truth heard him, but pretended like she didn't for both of their sakes. As much as she wanted them, relationships between hunters and huntresses were liabilities, as one day you'd be laughing with comrades and the next you'd be twelve feet under ground. In a coffin. No, she wished she wasn't so attached to him, but she couldn't pretend these feelings didn't exist.

Jaune analysed the golden arches and fine mosaics adorning the walls as the line of people shortened, and he approached the podium where a man in a beige suit stood.

"Is there a Mr. Arc here with a reservation?" he called out, and Jaune led the group of girls towards the front.

"That's me!" he called out, raising his hand slightly. The man nodded and pointed into the door.

"Table four-thirteen, drinks and dancing begin at ten," he said gesturing to the door. Jaune nodded and straightened his tie, pushing the wooden door open. He was greeted by a blast of scented air, and as he entered the large dome-like space he realised it smelled of pine and cool lily blooms. It was a nice scent.

"Jaune, the table's over here!" Yang called. She had already sat herself down with the other members of team RWBY, as she'd been here before. It was a large circular table, and the number of seats were perfect for the rather large party. "Five minutes 'til the bar opens," Yang said leaning back in her chair. Jaune's eyes wandered in her direction and lingered there for a moment. She didn't look too different in the clothes she wore now, as her midriff was still quite visible. But instead of wearing short shorts she'd made an effort to be formal and wore a short skirt that went to her lower thigh. Her hair was disheveled as ever though, because her hair was too sacred to touch. Jaune turned his gaze quickly, because unlike Pyrrha Yang would never let Jaune forget his wandering eyes. No, Jaune wasn't ready for that sort of teasing. He didn't need blue balls.

"Cool, anyone here gonna get a drink?" Jaune asked. Yang shrugged, and everyone else seemed to consent to the indecisiveness. "Well they came free with the reservation, so I'm not wasting the money," Jaune sighed. He looked to the metal sheet covering the bar. It obscured the view of anything behind the counter, so the mahogany stools were all he really saw of the bar. Jaune looked up at the large performance stage as a elevator-like cube lowered and dropped a tall man with red shades and a black fedora stepped up to a turn-table.

"Ladies and gents, ready to party?" the DJ asked into his microphone as he placed his headphones around his ears. Whoops and yells went up through the multiple tables and crowds of young people, though Jaune couldn't care less. This trip was meant for Ren, and if he wasn't here it suddenly wasn't as fun. Jaune heard the scraping of steel and turned his head, smiling at the sight. The bar had opened up. Jaune stood up and moved to the large strip of polished marble topped by mahogany that'd been varnished.

"Looks like you're not having a good time," the bartender said apologetically as he polished a shot glass. Jaune nodded and cringed as the loud music began blasting.

"Not really my setting," he admitted, shrugging. The bartender nodded and put a shot glass in front of him. Jaune raised and eyebrow and looked up to the man.

"Can I get you something to drink? Brandy's pretty good when you feel bored or sad," the tender explained. Jaune shrugged. He was going to order a pepsi, but he supposed a brandy wouldn't be bad.

"Sure," Jaune said with a sigh, leaning onto one of his hands as he positioned his elbow on the bar. The man nodded and filled the shot glass up with the golden liquid, sliding it over to the knight. Jaune picked it up and eyed it. He'd never drank before, but it couldn't be that bad. Bottoms up.


	5. The Bar: Part 2

**A/N: Both these chapters combined are technically chapter 4, so I didn't care how many reviews, favorites and follows were gained. But when this one is done, I still need some signs of people wanting me to do more. I'm an attention whore, and I apologise. **

Jaune guessed he was drunk, but he didn't really know. After all, he'd never been drunk before in his life. He'd figured he'd be stumbling around all disgruntled and slurring, but in truth he stood a little taller than usual and felt like he could punch the world. And he did, but the world seemed to be moving away from him… or was he moving away from the world? He didn't really care at this point. Looking to the dance floor, he saw his friends messing around and swaying to the beat of whatever it was that was playing. Hench or something like that. He began to approach them, straightening his tie for about the tenth time that night.

"Hey ladies," he greeted. "DJ! Can we get a slow song maybe?" he shouted. The guy gave him a thumbs up and a slower piano solo began. "Miss Nikkos, may I have this dance?" he asked with a formal bow. Pyrrha didn't know how to respond. A huge blush formed on her face, and she stuttered an answer after a long awkward pause.

"S-sure Jaune, I'd be delighted." But in her mind below all the happiness and excitement there was one question she wanted to keep down. _This isn't like him, where'd the confidence come from_? she wondered. But all of her doubts were swept away and her mind returned to what was at hand. Jaune spun her and then steadied her with a hand placed on her hip, smiling like a gentleman. She gripped his shoulders and smiled back as they did the steps required of a ballroom dancer, moving around the floor. Then the beat picked up, and so did their dancing. He grabbed at her wrist gently and swung her up in the air, and as soon as she touched down turned her in a three hundred and sixty degree spin. She was literally swept off her feet. He picked her up by her hips and placed her back down, as they continued their steps, gathering an audience from the other friends.

"What happened to Jaune?" Yang asked incredulously. Weiss shrugged with a grin, before replying.

"Who knows, but I hope he dances with me next." And this threw the two into an argument as to who could swing with the knight. The music stopped slowly, and Jaune all but disappeared. Pyrrha was too awestruck and silently content to watch him leave, and she immediately went and sat down, smiling like an idiot. Meanwhile, Weiss sat at the bar with a Glacier in one hand and a frown. Where was he?

"Looking for me princess?" a low voice asked. Weiss blushed profusely and faced the aforementioned man.

"Well actually- I was um," she began, but Jaune cut her off. In a very, very uncomfortable way. Well at least if Pyrrha had been looking. His lips were pressed to hers, and she was too stunned to think at first. But then she regained her senses and began to kiss back, feeling his tongue enter her mouth. She closed her eyes and moaned lowly, but suddenly she felt empty, snapping her from her pleasurable daze. He was gone. "Dammit Arc!" she shouted angrily.

Elsewhere, Blake was silently reading one of her erotic fantasy tales. SHe knew she needed a new hobby, but she was far too lazy to go looking for one. Besides, this was quite enjoyable, though she'd never admit it. Whenever someone approached she'd hide it in her blouse lightning-fast, assuring no one would ever know. But as she was turning the page, she felt a presence behind her. The book shut and she sighed audibly, letting the stranger know her discontent.

"Not many people can sneak up on me like that," she stated. "So Sun, when did you decide to…" she never finished the sentence. She was much too awestruck too. How had the bumbling idiot gotten behind her? "Jaune?!" suddenly she was far too aware of the book in her left hand. With a screech, it was hidden again. "How… when… how?" she asked. Jaune chuckled.

"Didn't wanna interrupt you, so I decided to take a peek at what you like to read. Naughty Blake," he said with a grin. Blake frowned and crossed her arms. "We should re-enact it sometime," he said. Blake sat up rigidly and froze, eyes wide. She turned, but the warrior was gone. Blake frowned, not sure what to think.

"So now Jaune's batman…"

* * *

Yang sat down, bored out of her mind. Jaune had disappeared as soon as he and Pyrrha finished dancing, and now the girl would only blubber incoherently. She sighed and cracked her knuckles, looking around. She saw Jaune approaching, and smiled.

"How ya doin' Jauney?" she asked as he closed in. The blonde shrugged and sat beside her, handing her a pepsi. It was diet, just how Yang prefered it.

"Not bad," Jaune replied, grinning. Yang returned the smile and cracked open the can, taking a sip of the cool drink.

"How'd you know I liked diet?" Yang asked curiously when she'd taken a decent swig. Jaune laughed quietly and tapped his temple.

"Intuition I guess," he answered simply, as if it was basic addition. Yang nodded and raised it to her lips again, finishing it off.

"If only you could apply those instincts to combat," she joked, not intending to insult him. Luckily, Jaune didn't take it that way.

"I don't know Yang, the rewards are a lot better the way I'm using them now." Yang only shook her head as she covered her grin. When had he gotten this alluring? She didn't really know, or care for that matter.

"Hey Jaune," she began. But he wasn't there. Now that was interesting.

**A/N: Bam! Finished the backstory, now plot can begin :D Anyway yeah, not holding this story hostage, and I never will. But to motivate me, lot's of reviews favs and follows would be good. Very good in fact. **


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